Archive for October 2006

Writing

Yeah, I went there.

So, in today’s featured news section on the website I work for, I have a package devoted to the Dear Abby/romance novel controversy, which many, many romance writers and readers have blogged about. Then, I linked to the RWA stats about the romance industry. Because, darn it, anything I can do to help dispell the incorrect stereotypes and myths is a good thing. Because for the biggest-selling genre in publishing, romance generally has a really, really bad reputation.

It all started a few weeks ago, when a woman wrote in to Dear Abby about her daughter’s reading choices. She liked *gasp* romance. The woman was shocked because her 14-year-old daughter was reading adult content. Dear Abby’s response was:

Some might argue that the idealized depiction of romance, and women being “rescued” by powerful, wealthy men, is more worrisome than the sex and eroticism. 

Out of all of the things in the initial letter, this is what Abby focuses on. And that pissed a lot of romance writers and readers off. I gotta agree. First, the whole “rescued heroine” thing hasn’t really been a part of romance since…well, since they really were bodice rippers. In the late 70s, early 80s, yeah, there was a lot of that. There were the heroines who had to be coerced to sex, because it was the only way they could rationalize doing something that was considered taboo… But that was a long time ago. Now we have heroines rescuing their heroes right back. Strong, independent women who have it all, and want romance and an awesome sex life too.

But what really bugged me about the whole situation is that the letter writer wasn’t aware of what her daughter was reading and was afraid to talk to her about it.*That’s* a problem.
When I was 12, I read the VC Andrews books, mostly because everyone else I knew was. While not really romance, these books were full of incest and grandmothers who poisoned her grandchildren with arsenic-laced doughnuts and recycled plotlines that really did just change the names and locations. By the time I was 14, I’d progressed to the historical romances my mom had in her nightstand. Did my mom know specifically what I was reading? Probably not, but she set the example by reading these kinds of books, too. If she were opposed to them, I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t have devoured them either.

Finding out about her daughter’s reading preferences was a perfect opportunity for this woman to sit down with her daughter and talk about her beliefs and values and her daughter’s beliefs and values. It could have been a growth experience for both mother and daughter. Instead, she goes whining to Abby. You shouldn’t need an advice columnist to tell you how to talk to your children. To know how to instill values and teach your children how to develop their own opinions. This woman could have talked about the difference between fantasy and reality. About the need for condoms and protection in real life, which doesn’t always fit in with the fantasy of romance (and that’s a debate for another post). About the need for women to be strong and independent and fulfilled on their own.

Did reading these adult books as a young teen scar me for life? Nope, not at all. I didn’t go run out and sleep with every guy in sight just because I read it in the books. I didn’t have expectations that some hero was gonna come and sweep me off my feet. It did, however, set me off on a life-long love of romance novels and a passion for fiction.

But for that woman, instead of fretting over well-told stories about a love between a man and a woman, maybe she should look at it as an opportunity to strengthen her relationship with her daughter…. and get a chance to read some damn good books.

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Stuff

What's in a name?

I’ve always hated my last name. Let’s face it, it sounds like a bug no one likes only spelled wrong (and no one pronounces it right, although I suspect neither do I, without the yiddish horking and rolling ch). Pretty much my whole name is pretty boring.

When I was about nine or ten, I started using my middle initial to jazz up my name. I used it on everything. And it stuck. My driver’s license, my SIN, my credit cards, the deed to my house, all have my name with my middle initial. Yes, most people don’t do that. I think that’s probably why I started in the first place. But now, twenty-odd years later, it’s become such a prevalent part of my name and my identity, that I don’t really think about it, I just keep using it. And, as far as I’m concerned, my name, with the middle initial, is my professional name. I never sign anything without the initial, any forms I fill out have it, right there between my first and last names. It’s even in my email address.
So, why is it such a fight to get other people to use it?

I just got copies of two of the books I edited for a particular company. And, I’m a geek, so I had to immediately look to see my name in print… and it wasn’t there. My first name was there, my last name was there (spelled correctly! woohoo!), and even though I know I had filled out the form with my middle initial, and sent all correspondence with my full name email address, someone had taken it upon themselves to take it out. What’s up with that?

It’s a battle I’ve been fighting for years, pretty much since I entered the work force. And I’m not so pretentious that I introduce myself with it, but when I put my name in writing, or when others put my name in writing, I expect to see it. It’s not like I’m asking a lot. It’s the letter M with a period after it, for Pete’s sake. It’s not like I’m making you spell out the whole darn name (and it’s a long one, too).

Man, when I finally get around to marrying the bf, I’m gonna have to go through this all over again, aren’t I? Oy.

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Writing

Reaffirmation makes all the difference

Earlier this week, and quite out of the blue, I was laid off from one of my jobs. While it wasn’t a particularly high-paying or demanding job, it was one of the fun parts of my day. And, don’t get me wrong, in the grand scheme of things, I totally understand the decision to elimnate the role. I wasn’t doing as much writing as we’d originally thought I’d be doing, which, for a struggling e-publisher, doesn’t make much financial sense to pay a writer not to write.

That being said, being laid off sucks. It does a number on your self esteem and you wonder if, while it was probably a business decision, that it wasn’t, just a teeny tiny bit, about your talent and abilities or lack thereof.

The other thing about being laid off is you don’t get to say goodbye. And the people you left behind don’t know what to say, or whether they should say anything at all. If they send a ‘that sucks’ email, will it just rub salt on the wound? Is the laid-off-ee angry or bitter? And if you make contact with them, are you plotting revenge or just generally hoping to keep a friendship?

Needless to say, since leaving, I haven’t heard from any of the people I worked with. And, part of me, just a little, wonders if those left behind have hard feelings… (I don’t have any hard feelings, by the way. I really don’t.)

But today I heard from someone… One of the authors I worked with a fair bit (I’d edited her latest book and worked on a pile of cover blurbs for her) pinged me on IM. She let me know how bummed she was that I was gone because I’d done such a great job.

And that makes me feel just a little bit better about things. That maybe I really was doing a good job and someone noticed. And that’s pretty darn cool.

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Grammar

Serial comma done in by serial killer?

I’ve become a fan of the serial comma. I confess, I didn’t use to be, probably for the very same reason most people don’t use it. It’s an extra step, it clutters up the page, and it’s not necessary… Or so I thought.

In my day job, I work to a very strict style guide. One that I’ve been working very hard at memorizing. (The fun part is remembering when I edit romance novels that they don’t need to follow some of the more technical rules. :) ) But in this very strict style guide, the serial comma is mandatory. And, after subscribing to a very popular Canadian women’s magazine, I’m beginning to see the usefulness of the serial comma.

Take this headline:

Meet the new Mrs. Trudeau
On marriage, Margaret and her first year with Justin

Now, the article discusses Sophie Trudeau’s new marriage to Justin and her relationship with her new mother-in-law, Margaret Trudeau. But, if you read the headline, it implies that the new Mrs Trudeau talks about Margaret’s first year with Justin, not her own.

Look at it with the serial comma:

On marriage, Margaret, and her first year with Justin

Ahh, now we’re getting somewhere. That extra comma not only lets us know that it’s Sophie’s year with Justin, not Margaret, it also keeps us from thinking that the ‘her’ in the headline refers to Sophie, not Margaret (which, technically, it still kinda does, since pronouns are supposed to refer to the most recent noun… )

But, I gave this magazine the benefit of the doubt that the comma got dropped somewhere, until I got the next month’s issue. In this issue, we have the headline:

Diana Krall
On marriage, music and becoming a mom

(hmmm. they’re not very creative with their headlines, are they?) But again, our serial comma is missing. Now, in this instance, there isn’t as much confusion as the first one, but it still looks unfinished to me.

So, it seems to me, that one tiny little comma may take up a teeny bit of space in your sentence, but it makes all the world of difference in avoiding confusion.

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